Change Is An Opportunity For Transformation
Life is a series of natural and spontaneous change. We are fallible and temporary, we cannot resist change as much as we might try. We cannot slow down the clock or stop day turning to night. This isn’t something to push away, it’s what makes life so precious. It gives us an opportunity to be grateful and value every day, even the seemingly mundane or boring things. This awareness of how ephemeral life is (without the catastrophising), is what can open us up to the true beauty and wonder of life. It’s not to say that we must go into hyperactive mode and say yes to every bit of stimulus that comes our way, but to have a grounded sense of care for our lives. To know that getting to do this thing called life is a gift, and that the ups and downs are what gives life it’s essence. Life is a series of natural and spontaneous change, and the sooner we embrace that, the sooner we can start choosing how we want to respond to these changes, rather than being stuck in the pattern of reacting through fear. Change is an opportunity for transformation.
Living in resistance looks like complaining when we are given an assignment deadline, it looks like then ignoring the reality of the deadline and avoiding the assignment, it looks like then going to a party full well knowing that the deadline in near due, it looks like drinking too much at said party to fit in even though you know you will feel terrible the next day and you still have that assignment due. It’s then handing in the assignment completed to a poor standard and complaining about being so tired from ‘having’ to pull an all-nighter. Then just wait until the mark comes back! It’s a cycle that many people are on, and unfortunately one that will be playing out unconsciously in all areas of life. As these cycles perpetuate, they grow in strength, to the point where your life may end up looking nothing like you wanted, and the work to undo it gets much more difficult as time goes on. The thing is, it all comes down to choice. As adults, it is essential to accept responsibility for our decisions, and gaining the awareness over our choices is the necessary first step.
We needn’t get overwhelmed. This is a lifetime of work. Before you get ahead of yourself and start regretting every decision you’ve ever made, set yourself aside 20 minutes today to sit down and consider the choices that you make. Just consider them. There’s no right or wrong, take as clear a view of things as you can. Sit with a piece of paper and your favourite pen and write down ‘what choices did I make today?’. Then answer it. You might wonder, ‘What did I eat? How did I speak to the people I did today? How did I speak to myself today? Was I kind, was I curious, did I make anyone smile today? What did I choose to do with my time? Am I happy with the choices I made?’. Simple questions that could let you see yourself in a different light.
You may see things you like, you may see things you don’t like. The aim here is not to judge. We are all human doing our best. But notice how you feel in response to different things, and consider the message that your feelings are trying to tell you. If you felt shame, why might that be? If you felt happy, how can you incorporate more of that? If you felt fearful, is it the kind of fear that will grow you by facing it or the kind of fear that shows that you are off course? Whatever it is, it’s okay. Accept what comes up and take relief in the knowledge that everything is temporary. This way, you can accept the flow and decide for yourself how you want to respond to the things that are presenting themselves.
From someone that has been through many transformative periods, I want to advise you on one thing. Focus on your self. Everything starts from within, and as much as we might try, we cannot control external situations; it’s simply a waste of energy. Start with one small thing. How about doing one hour of an assignment on the day you receive it? Or swapping to a healthier lunch every day, setting a bed time for yourself mid-week or even committing to that 20 minutes of journaling every week? There’s no right or wrong here, there’s simply choice. The beauty is: the choice is yours!