Life Is Ours By Design
The vastness of the physical world, with the ever-growing complexity and chaos, forces us to select which parts we focus on to create our version of reality out of. As open as we can be, we must decide upon a limited quota of things to have as ‘real’ and from which to live our existence out of. If one was to decide that everything is fair game, and that there needn’t be any selection or filtration process, every single second of our day would be spent processing the masses of information, with actual living becoming impossible.
Mostly, we inherit this filtration system from the people we are raised by, either directly or indirectly. We learn our sensory patterns off those who modelled theirs for us to copy and paste to ourselves. This is useful for quick learning and adapting to the environment, however this programme can be rendered useless when we consider the outcomes that those prescribed patterns deliver us to. If we are raised by negative parents, teachers, books, tv, media, then we will be raised tuning into the negative aspects of the world, resulting in a constant radar for danger, fear or failure. While it may be what we know, there is no reason to suggest that this is the best thing for us.
Habits give us a sense of security, as we know what to expect every day – we know what to feel when presented with a certain stimulus and we know how to react to that stimulus; just do as we always have done. As much as habits are necessary for our survival and save us wasting processing time and energy, it is surely worth considering what is on the other side of these habits. What would happen if particular habits that we possess were not ours, if they didn’t exist for us? The assumption that everyone else operates in largely the same way as us is a common mistake. Perhaps there are vast similarities between us and the people in our immediate environments, however it only takes stepping into a different community of any kind to discover that they are ruled by very different habits, which come with very different thoughts, beliefs and actions. It’s obvious, however, also often brushed aside.
Consider that there is no ‘way’ of living. There are no rules, no right or wrong, no absolutes. Your existence can be reworked continually, if you like. To become aware of our habitual patterns gives us an opening to choice; to be become aware of our habitual patterns gives us freedom. Freedom from our past, our conditioning, our mental restrictions. Once in the observer seat, it can be daunting to come face to face with the reality that we are often running on autopilot, and in ways that may lead us to outcomes that we like to think we would never choose for ourselves. Thankfully, there’s a remedy for this.
Going forward, as often as you remember, see yourself as a baby. When you see a baby, you want to look after them as best you can – be loving, mothering and nurturing. When you look at yourself through these eyes, it means that you help yourself as much as you can, offering yourself endless forgiveness and compassion for your ongoing learning journey. With this perspective, you are released from the confines of being a fixed adult.
We are not bound with anything that doesn’t serve us, allowed to let go anything we want. Equally, we are not limited to only the things we know, free to explore and learn all that we desire. Our lives are exactly that – ours. We can be grateful for having been shaped and moulded up until this point, however if we are responsible, self-sufficient adults, we have the privilege of taking the reins, embracing our inner leader and discovering for ourselves how we want to live.
This is not a call for extremism – it’s a call for openness, expansion and review. What is working? What could be reworked? We have the honour of customising and tailoring our expression of existence to suit us, why not give up the fast fashion and instead go for haute couture?