Cloud-Gazing: A Love Story
Nephelococcygia. A word to describe something that most of us have done as children just for the fun of it; playfully seeking and finding shapes in clouds. Some of my most vivid childhood memories are of the ever-changing sky. I would lay out on the grass, unaware of time, just admiring the beautiful blue sky with clouds drifting by, taking different shapes that wouldn’t last for long, and arguing with my sisters and cousins about what we saw. “it’s a person riding a horse”, “no, no, it’s a table and chair”, “no, no its definitely a boat on stilts”. We would each be so sure about what we saw, but equally enthusiastic about searching for what the others could see. Back then, any thought of ‘this is a waste of time’ or ‘I could be doing something more productive’ didn’t even cross my mind, but as I got older and became more ‘adult’, this activity just seemed to slip away. It wasn’t until the summer of 2020 when going outside became a real luxury that I rediscovered my connection with the sky.
One particularly hot day, I was somewhat overtaken by the post-run giddiness and needed to get myself down on the ground. I sat down, then lay back, and allowed my eyes to be drawn upwards. I was overwhelmed with delight and pure child-like joy at the unobstructed open view of sky I had above me. Right then, the sky was the only thing in the world, and I revelled in the freedom that I felt. With my now adult-eyes, I wasn’t labelling the clouds as shapes, I was simply, but electrifyingly taking in the many colours and shapes, mesmerised by the way they moved into and out of each other, awestruck by the infinite depth of the space above. I wondered what was going on up there, but at the same time felt like I was floating up there myself, formless and at one with the sky.
Since that day in the park, I began looking up a lot more. To connect with the sky is to remember that you know nothing. It is to regain the perspective of just how tiny we are in relation to this endless universe. It’s the feeling of having no control over anything, and at the same time relishing in the magnificence of the higher order of things.
Once upon a time we were all innocent children, looking at the world through eyes of wonder and curiosity, but at some point, we ‘grew up’ and became obsessed with how we look, what other people think of us and our social status; yet this loss of innocence causes us to become increasingly distracted, discontented and disconnected. We’ve been trying to fit in with a model that doesn’t work for us, and with that we’ve been missing out on the best parts about life – playfulness, silliness, formlessness. We used to be shapeshifters, like the clouds. Our minds were open, and when we looked at the sky our imaginations would easily see all kinds of things. Sad to say, when we forget about the child in us, all those gifts that we once took for granted are forgotten along with them.
It’s time to get back outside. At one point in the next week, set aside some time without distractions, get yourself outside, lay flat on the grass and look up. Bring a blanket, wrap up warm if you need to, and get comfortable. For at least 10 minutes, be still. Let go of any ideas about a ‘right or wrong’ way of doing it, reach for nothing and cling to nothing. Allow your experience with the sky to be as it is. See what you see, feel what you feel. If you hold on to one thought during this time, let it be this: the sky that you are seeing at that moment in time will only ever exist as it is at that moment in time. It will never be repeated. You will never see the same sky twice, and that in itself is a thing of wonder.
This isn’t just a ‘mindfulness’ activity, this is to do with your connection with nature, with earth, with the universe. These are all very real and affect both how we live and how we feel about life itself. It’s not all about us, but it’s all here for us, and it’s up to you to experience it for yourself.
More sky, more joy, more life.